With National Coming Out Day being October 11th, I once again find myself reflecting on how things have changed since I came out. Last year on this day, I shared my story for the first time publicly (click here to read that post). And to be completely honest, I was surprised at the number of messages of support I received; high school classmates, high school/grade school teachers, friends I haven’t spoken to in a long time and a few random people. It was truly humbling.

In this day and age, coming out can be even more scary than what it was before. There is, I feel, a lot more hate in our society (not just for the LGBTQ community). I recently wrote about not being comfortable about going back to my home state of South Dakota because of all the hate and lack of anti-discrimination laws there. Which made me think that, to this day, I still act completely different when I’m at work, in the community, even around some friends and family than I do around the handful of close friends I have where I can be ‘who I am.’ I don’t go to a lot of, if any, LGBTQ events because I’m afraid of people judging me for being who I am. There are many times where I wish I wasn’t gay because of certain stigmas, the current society, dating, the hate groups, etc.

Coming out is an extremely hard thing to do, because you don’t just come out once. You will continually come out to new people you meet. It’s hard to know how people will take it. Although you shouldn’t let your sexuality define you, but it is a strong part of who you are. And you should be able to live your truth.

I know that I have come really far from when I first came out, but I know that I still have a lot to go. I become more ‘me’ each day because of the support that people show me and others reaching out because they are in a similar situation. We, as an LGBTQ+ community, need to stick together and support each other. That is how we will overcome many of the current societal issues.

This is just my view and how I feel personally. I do wish that I was more comfortable with myself, but I am a work in progress. I’m gradually becoming more comfortable.

Disclaimer: I am proud of who I am and the LGBTQ+ community that I am a part of. We all have insecurities, and this just still happens to be one of mine.